Saturday, May 01, 2010

The hidden truth

i've been leading meaningless days all this while . Maybe aren't really meaningless . Mind seems so free that thoughts cannot stop running inside my mind . So many things that make me start reflecting on .

What do you know about me ?

Crazy ? Full of laughters ? Noisy ? Happy-go-lucky ? Always smiling/happy ?
Maybe i'm like this , but that's physically !

Being an introvert , i never reveal myself to others , even my family . i keep all my thoughts to myself , especially sad moments . Yes , not even on my this blog ! i dont know why but i just dont like to show others my weakness since young . Hence i always seem to be lifting up to my name - "joy"celyn . Maybe 99% of the time when i was younger since there was nothing to stress about at young age ? But seriously , at times i was holding back my tears , holding back all my grudges . i hate to let others to see my tears unless i really cannot help it .

i tend to think a lot after lights off , especially when i'm feeling down . i dont know why . Maybe due to the peace of silence in the air . i also like to let go all my tears and sorrow in darkness where no one sees .

Maybe , i believe sad moments will always be away soon , so just let the matter sinks into history and forget about it forever . Therefore , i choose to be happy like what everyone sees in me even if it is just an act . i can even laugh through my sadness .

Not that i'm always feeling down , but being with my friends , it seriously makes my day better . it also helps me to forget all the downs in life , even for just a moment . ^___^

Friends who knows me must be freaking shock now upon reading this post . Well , i also dont know what makes me type all these out . Maybe i'm starting to get sick and tired wearing that "happy mask" and learn face the DAMN reality . Or maybe i'm just out of my mind already since i'm totally school-less and jobless . *Hahaha* But for whatever the reason may be , i dont care much just as long as i'm happy being myself .

But i think i'm seriously getting weaker than before , mentally and physically. i live so much like a man in the past , but now i seem to be more like girl . is this a good thing or a bad thing ? 囧


  1. sai...why ur photos like so cool one? esp the first one...

    everyone has both introvert and extrovert sides to them. just do what makes u happy. if u feel down, just think what u need to do. maybe u need to be with ur friends more or maybe u need a job ot keep u doing somthing.

    other than that, just be urself. and dun need to feel sad. maybe u just need things to do and not be bored.


    i get bored often and sometimes my thoughts take over me too.^^

    so dun feel sad.k?

  2. i photoshop-ed what . heheheh .

    & Thanks ! ♥ ^____^
    Anyway i'm not feeling sad now la . Just random thoughts/reflection .

  3. jiayou and always keep looking forward. many things just come unexpectedly. you'd be surprised.